We have received some very serious responses to our recent article on “Starting Over is Hard to Do”. Many people are hurting and stuck in a place they do not want, or need to be. They say there seems to be “no way out”. Others say they want to secure a better financial future. Then there are those who say they want to leap into change because it is time. For others, they say they are forced to start over due to unforeseen circumstances. But those who have written to tell me they are physically, emotionally, and financially trapped, because someone has them bound by neglect and fear, is the worst I have read so far. No one should have to face such atrocity.
Being bound with no way out, makes me cringe. I am uncomfortable when I read about people hurting because another human being has them crippled through physical, emotional, and financial abuse. The purpose of our articles is to reach hurting people. And we will continue in this purpose. Our goal is to educate, inform, support, and coach people through tough times. We work hard at doing this! We also aim to help increase the quality of life for everyone who desires quality living and increase. There are those who are comfortable and happy, but know there is more to life than what they are experiencing.
Through our article writing we desire to minister to and coach people from their pain, to successful gain. We want to show people how to walk into their destiny, and walk out of their past. We realize that not everyone who requests our help is available to attend our coaching clinic. Therefore, we address real human issues through our writing platform. We believe that the ministry and preaching platform is not limited to the podium, lectern, or physical altar. Writing is one of the many platforms in which God has created to reach His people. This is why our articles seem quite long, for some. But those who are in a season of wanting change now, find something in our articles that they need to get them through the moment. Some people have told us that what they need is a listening ear; an immediate response to their questions; advice on starting over; or coaching through their decision to make a “right-now” exit .
We never know who reads what we write. So we put our trust in God’s authority to lead our heart to pen His words. We have offered our head, heart, and hands to God. And ultimately, He guides our thoughts. Therefore, we believe that [our] “…tongue is the pen of a ready writer” Psalm 45:1
Giving you strength for the journey,
Most of you probably have seen many of my posts promoting change. But what about starting over? During your life, you may have been forced to change for one reason or another. Being forced to change can be frightening. But given the opportunity to plan and make preparation is so much better. I know that starting over can be even more frightening. Sometimes you may have to begin again. But, what if you had a choice to start over? What if your dreams were deferred and now those dreams are old, and you have lost your passion to pursue them? Well, it may not be too late to wake up the dream, follow your passion, and create the life you have always wanted. You might have to revise some things, but that does not mean you cannot bring your dream to life. With a will and a desire, you can wake up that dream, see the vision, and change your life. Someone very close to me has a co-worker who decided to go to medical school at age 50. The divorced mother who once brought home nearly $500 a week as a teacher, now earns $25,000 a pay period as a medical doctor. With planning, preparation, and pursuit, you too, can begin again. With your experience, wisdom, and maturity, starting over may not take as long to get from the starting line to the finish line. But if you never start, you will never finish. It is not too late! Live your dream! Follow your passion! Start your new life! Here are eleven steps to help you start your new life: 1) The days of your life are seventy years; and if by reason of strength they are eighty years…, let the beauty of the Lord your God…establish the work of your hands…Psalm 90:10,17. 2) I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread. Psalm 37:25. 3) I would have lost heart, unless I had believed Psalm 27:13. 4) When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you Psalm 128:2. 5) The Lord will perfect that which concerns you Psalm 138:8. 6) The heart of the righteous studies how to answer…Prov. 15:28. 7) The preparations of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. Prov. 16:1. 8) A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps Prov. 16:9. 9) Plans are established by counsel Prov. 20:18. 10) The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty Prov. 21:5. 11) Prepare your outside work, make it fit for yourself in the field; and afterward build your house Prov 24:27. Giving you strength for the journey, Dr. Wendy
“Meditate in the Word of God day and night. You will be like a tree planted by the rivers of water.” Psalm 1:3; 119:148
Recently we posted a FB message titled: Eleven Steps to Help You Start a New Life! We received many responses and approvals from our readers. One reader requested more details about how to accomplish the start of a new life. His request is based upon some key points we included in our post. To read our recent post you may click on this link: https://www.facebook.com/drwendy.campbell
The following article is inspired by a question from one of our FB friends, who writes:
“This is good but, what if the job you have now is doing good and you can’t afford to take that chance, because of what you have to pay each month? If I could get by on less and still be alright, I could understand. Would love to hear the answer, thanks a lot though, very encouraging words, the BIBLE never lies.” Hank Harris
Hank’s question is a very powerful one, and we felt it warranted a very powerful, but true answer.
We have titled this article: When Starting Over is Hard to Do!
Are you stuck in a rut?
Many people find themselves in hard places and situations that are difficult to change.
It is never easy to just leave and walk away, especially when things are going good. Even in bad or unpleasant situations, we as emotional beings find it difficult to leave things behind. It is especially hard, when there is no plan. With a desire and no plan, people generally stay in a rut, and do not leave their situation or circumstance. Having no plan is the reason people stay stuck. Trust me, it is certainly understandable, and I by no means am saying we should all walk away to do better or to find our passion. What I am saying is that every individual has to decide for themselves what they want, how they want to accomplish it, and whether they are passionate enough to forsake all. It simply boils down to your own personal choices, moral values, and spiritual instincts. Ask yourself:
“Am I desperate enough for change?
“Will I start over if I am forced to?”
“Where will I be ten years from now versus where I am now?”
Let’s analyze this one step at a time: If you are happy and comfortable or complacent where you are and you can continue to live with your good situation, then perhaps you should stay where you are. But, if down the road things change, perhaps you will revisit your decision. I view things this way: We have several windows in our lifetime that will dictate what happens in each window. These windows are the decades of our life. We have ten years in each of these window: 20’s, 30’s 40’s 50’s 60’s, etc. In our 20’s we have youthfulness, vibrancy, energy, excitement, passion, ideas, and a lot of time-we think! This is a time when we make choices such as, continue our education, secure employment, start a family, travel, or plan for the future. Sometimes, when there is no plan, one might find themselves going to and from minimum wage jobs, trying to make ends meet and this cycle continues until you find yourself struggling in the next window, and the next, and so on, until a lucky break happens. Then what really happens is that you forego your passion, and neglect all your ideas, you begin to lack energy, interest, and passion, and then you try to enjoy life by having fun to make up for lost time. Rather than grow, instead, you just exist-day by day. Then finally, you hit the window where you are now in your 50’s and you look back and ask more questions such as:
“How did I get here?”
“What can I do to change, make things better, and stop existing and end the struggle?”
Several children and grandchildren later, the family has grown; their needs have increased; and it is not about you any more. So, now you are in a situation where you are more comfortable staying right where you are, than you are with making changes, because you do not know how things will turn out during the change, and the fear is that you may lose everything, especially now that you have others who depend on you for a living.
This scenario that we have just described, puts us four decades ahead with no headway-it seems. This is where the “rubber meets the road”, if I can use this cliche’. Well, now, you are forced to make a decision. You either stay or change, or start over.
What do you, as an individual decide?
First, allow me to offer this: In so many cases, Life just happens. Life throws a curve to force you to change and you make the change because there is no other way. The corporation moved your department out of the country; your job went with it, but you were not included in the company transition; the home is in foreclosure; the children are past 18; (now, you are paying their bills along with college tuition); the car is holding its own; the money in the bank is earmarked for your bills; and you are frustrated when looking back, while asking yourself and saying:
“What have I done with my time?”
“Why didn’t I just make the sacrifice back then, and do what I should have done?”
“Maybe things would be different, if I had just kept my focus.”
In the Facebook post we mentioned earlier, I compared being forced to change or start over to just making choices freely.
God has given each of us the freedom to choose at any time. However, we must simply choose! Stay, go, change, or begin again. It is up to us. But, in any decision we make without conferring with God about the steps to take, failure may be eminent. Even those who do not acknowledge or know God, may think they can accomplish on their own what they want; but it is truly God’s guidance and His hand in the situation. And that is what the powerful, but true answer is: God!
Will it be difficult during the process? Sure it will! But God has already blessed the end to be victorious when He is included every step of the way. Why does it have to be difficult? Not every step will be difficult, but God created hard to make it a blessing. God will bless what you do. He will make the crooked places straight. He will part the Red Sea-just for you! He will honor your request, and give you the change you need to help you to start over.
Look at it this way: If you attempt to do anything without conferring with God and leave Him out, there are no guarantees you will not fail. You may get through it, but there is no guarantee. If you confer with and keep God in the details, there is an absolute guarantee that the end will bring your dreams to pass. Seeking God on the matter first, jumping into the situation when God has given you the go ahead, staying with God, and not moving too far behind or too far ahead, will always insure your future victory. Expressing faith, believing in, and going after what God shows you, are the keys to starting over, making necessary changes, and walking in your destiny.
God has the blueprint. And you need God to show it to you.
Here is another key point:
We need counselors and mentors to guide us.
It is imperative to seek out those who have paved the way. Those who have gone where you are trying to go. They will tell you that the road is not easy, but if you follow your passion, you will succeed. If you include God, the latter half of your life will be greater than the former. God is your first Counselor. Jesus and the Holy Spirit are your advocates, prayer warriors, guide, and partners in all that you do. They will join you in your journey to keep you strengthened, passionate, enlightened, and provide prudence -the ability to apply knowledge. They will offer you spiritual intellect, which only comes from God. They will fight on your behalf and remind you that you sit on the throne of grace, mercy, and favor, and that you may come boldly to ask for what you want, and tell you that you can expect to receive it.
To build your faith, ponder these six spiritual truths:
1) Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established Prov. 15:22
2) Plans are established by counsel Prov. 20:18
3) If my people who are called by my name shall humble themselves, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive them for their sin, and heal their land 1 Chr. 7:14
4) Ask, seek, and then knock!
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Mat. 7:7-8
5) So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God Rom. 10:17
6) Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen Heb. 11:1
These ten spiritual disciplines are the elements of good success:
1) Offer praise to God each day
2) Study the word every day
3) Ask God to give you the answer you seek
4) Give and invest into (God’s kingdom) that which you seek
5) Build your faith through the Word
6) Take time to commune with God in secret
7) Ask God to show you your purpose
8) Find your passion
9) Remember, that no matter how hard it gets, God will never leave you nor forsake you, if you do not leave Him
10) No matter what you do, DO NOT QUIT!
In the end, I know that this information sounds good, and it is! But if you actually begin the journey, you are going to need a whole lot more advice to get you going and to help you make the right choices, if you are looking to start over or just simply want to make a change. My facebook pages, blog, and other sites do not allow me to adequately counsel or coach like I do with clients whom I see in my coaching clinic. In fact, it does not even touch the surface of what can be offered in the way of guidance and support. But I pray that something was stated here to encourage your heart, give you hope, and start you in the right direction to pursue your passion, dreams, and God-given destiny.
Blessings to each of you!
Giving you strength for the journey,
We welcome your feedback. Please feel free to make comments, recommendations, and ask questions. You may also request coaching and counseling services for your specific needs. For articles, documents, and other published work by Dr. Wendy you may visit the following:
Pray for your children today.
Plead the blood of Jesus over them each day.
Never take for granted that your children are okay. Check on them closely. Look them in the eye. Talk to them. Ask them questions.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you anything you need to know. Then lay hands on them and decree and declare the word of God over their life.
I decree and declare this over my girls everyday:
“I decree and declare that you walk in the righteousness, wisdom, knowledge, prudence, and understanding of God, and that you have a long quality of life, love, joy, peace, happiness, grace, mercy, favor, safety, protection, divine health, divine healing, wellness, wholeness, divine prosperity, divine wealth, safe, comfortable, on-time, and all-expense-paid travels wherever you go. I decree and declare that you will serve, love, obey, and humble yourself to God, study, pray, worship, and praise the Lord, attend church, give God tithes and offering. And I decree and declare that no hurt, harm, or danger shall ever come near you”.
You may tailor your decrees and declarations as you are led, such as:
I decree and declare that you shall study and practice your homework each day, graduate on time, attend college, and graduate at the top of your class.
I decree and declare that you shall marry well, and have normal, healthy children, and you shall not commit adultery or fornication, and it shall not be committed against you. You shall serve the Lord all the days of your long life.
Begin to command what you want for you, your children, and your household, and you will have what speak.
Giving you strength for the journey,