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When Starting Over is Hard to Do!

Recently we posted a FB message titled: Eleven Steps to Help You Start a New Life! We received many responses and approvals from our readers. One reader requested more details about how to accomplish the start of a new life. His request is based upon some key points we included in our post. To read our recent post you may click on this link: https://www.facebook.com/drwendy.campbell

The following article is inspired by a question from one of our FB friends, who writes:

“This is good but, what if the job you have now is doing good and you can’t afford to take that chance, because of what you have to pay each month? If I could get by on less and still be alright, I could understand. Would love to hear the answer, thanks a lot though, very encouraging words, the BIBLE never lies.” Hank Harris

Hank’s question is a very powerful one, and we felt it warranted a very powerful, but true answer.

We have titled this article: When Starting Over is Hard to Do!

Are you stuck in a rut?

Many people find themselves in hard places and situations that are difficult to change.

It is never easy to just leave and walk away, especially when things are going good. Even in bad or unpleasant situations, we as emotional beings find it difficult to leave things behind. It is especially hard, when there is no plan. With a desire and no plan, people generally stay in a rut, and do not leave their situation or circumstance. Having no plan is the reason people stay stuck. Trust me, it is certainly understandable, and I by no means am saying we should all walk away to do better or to find our passion. What I am saying is that every individual has to decide for themselves what they want, how they want to accomplish it, and whether they are passionate enough to forsake all. It simply boils down to your own personal choices, moral values, and spiritual instincts. Ask yourself:

“Am I desperate enough for change?

“Will I start over if I am forced to?”

“Where will I be ten years from now versus where I am now?”

Let’s analyze this one step at a time: If you are happy and comfortable or complacent where you are and you can continue to live with your good situation, then perhaps you should stay where you are. But, if down the road things change, perhaps you will revisit your decision. I view things this way: We have several windows in our lifetime that will dictate what happens in each window. These windows are the decades of our life. We have ten years in each of these window: 20’s, 30’s 40’s 50’s 60’s, etc. In our 20’s we have youthfulness, vibrancy, energy, excitement, passion, ideas, and a lot of time-we think! This is a time when we make choices such as, continue our education, secure employment, start a family, travel, or plan for the future. Sometimes, when there is no plan, one might find themselves going to and from minimum wage jobs, trying to make ends meet and this cycle continues until you find yourself struggling in the next window, and the next, and so on, until a lucky break happens. Then what really happens is that you forego your passion, and neglect all your ideas, you begin to lack energy, interest, and passion, and then you try to enjoy life by having fun to make up for lost time. Rather than grow, instead, you just exist-day by day. Then finally, you hit the window where you are now in your 50’s and you look back and ask more questions such as:

“What happened?”

“How did I get here?”

“What can I do to change, make things better, and stop existing and end the struggle?”

Several children and grandchildren later, the family has grown; their needs have increased; and it is not about you any more. So, now you are in a situation where you are more comfortable staying right where you are, than you are with making changes, because you do not know how things will turn out during the change, and the fear is that you may lose everything, especially now that you have others who depend on you for a living.

This scenario that we have just described, puts us four decades ahead with no headway-it seems. This is where the “rubber meets the road”, if I can use this cliche’. Well, now, you are forced to make a decision. You either stay or change, or start over.

What do you, as an individual decide?

First, allow me to offer this: In so many cases, Life just happens. Life throws a curve to force you to change and you make the change because there is no other way. The corporation moved your department out of the country; your job went with it, but you were not included in the company transition; the home is in foreclosure; the children are past 18; (now, you are paying their bills along with college tuition); the car is holding its own; the money in the bank is earmarked for your bills; and you are frustrated when looking back, while asking yourself and saying:

“What have I done with my time?”

“Why didn’t I just make the sacrifice back then, and do what I should have done?”

“Maybe things would be different, if I had just kept my focus.”

In the Facebook post we mentioned earlier, I compared being forced to change or start over to just making choices freely.

God has given each of us the freedom to choose at any time. However, we must simply choose! Stay, go, change, or begin again. It is up to us. But, in any decision we make without conferring with God about the steps to take, failure may be eminent. Even those who do not acknowledge or know God, may think they can accomplish on their own what they want; but it is truly God’s guidance and His hand in the situation. And that is what the powerful, but true answer is: God!

Will it be difficult during the process? Sure it will! But God has already blessed the end to be victorious when He is included every step of the way. Why does it have to be difficult? Not every step will be difficult, but God created hard to make it a blessing. God will bless what you do. He will make the crooked places straight. He will part the Red Sea-just for you! He will honor your request, and give you the change you need to help you to start over.

Look at it this way: If you attempt to do anything without conferring with God and leave Him out, there are no guarantees you will not fail. You may get through it, but there is no guarantee. If you  confer with and keep God in the details, there is an absolute guarantee that the end will bring your dreams to pass. Seeking God on the matter first, jumping into the situation when God has given you the go ahead, staying with God, and not moving too far behind or too far ahead, will always insure your future victory. Expressing faith, believing in, and going after what God shows you, are the keys to starting over, making necessary changes, and walking in your destiny.

God has the blueprint. And you need God to show it to you.

Here is another key point:

We need counselors and mentors to guide us.

It is imperative to seek out those who have paved the way. Those who have gone where you are trying to go. They will tell you that the road is not easy, but if you follow your passion, you will succeed. If you include God, the latter half of your life will be greater than the former. God is your first Counselor. Jesus and the Holy Spirit are your advocates, prayer warriors, guide, and partners in all that you do. They will join you in your journey to keep you strengthened, passionate, enlightened, and provide prudence -the ability to apply knowledge. They will offer you spiritual intellect, which only comes from God. They will fight on your behalf and remind you that you sit on the throne of grace, mercy, and favor, and that you may come boldly to ask for what you want, and tell you that you can expect to receive it.

To build your faith, ponder these six spiritual truths:

1) Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established Prov. 15:22

2)  Plans are established by counsel Prov. 20:18

3) If my people who are called by my name shall humble themselves, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive them for their sin, and heal their land 1 Chr. 7:14

4) Ask, seek, and then knock!

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Mat. 7:7-8

5) So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God Rom. 10:17

6) Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen Heb. 11:1

These ten spiritual disciplines are the elements of good success:

1) Offer praise to God each day

2) Study the word every day

3) Ask God to give you the answer you seek

4) Give and invest into (God’s kingdom) that which you seek

5) Build your faith through the Word

6) Take time to commune with God in secret

7) Ask God to show you your purpose

8) Find your passion

9) Remember, that no matter how hard it gets, God will  never leave you nor forsake you, if you do not leave Him

10) No matter what you do, DO NOT QUIT!

In the end, I know that this information sounds good, and it is! But if you actually begin the journey, you are going to need a whole lot more advice to get you going and to help you make the right choices, if you are looking to start over or just simply want to make a change.  My facebook pages, blog, and other sites do not allow me to adequately counsel or coach like I do with clients whom I see in my coaching clinic. In fact, it does not even touch the surface of what can be offered in the way of guidance and support. But I pray that something was stated here to encourage your heart, give you hope, and start you in the right direction to pursue your passion, dreams, and God-given destiny.

Blessings to each of you!

Giving you strength for the journey,

Dr. Wendy

We welcome your feedback. Please feel free to make comments, recommendations, and ask questions. You may also request coaching and counseling services for your specific needs. For articles, documents, and other published work by Dr. Wendy you may visit the following:





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